Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Ooch Aye ! The mission. Part3

Fear not Oilyracer fans....I'm back. Yes, you remember ?   It's me...Albert.
Once more bringing tales of high adventure to the few who dare read the 'Oilyracer' blog. One day the rest of the world will follow.....until then enjoy the exclusivity of finding this little corner where old scrap is turned into Vintafaked Legends....

So, where was I with my tale of distant travel and culinery mayhem.

Aah yes, Unfortunately it is with deep sadness that I have to report that 'I' Albert Crackleport (Boy Scout Woggle Chuckin' Champion 1966) did not gain enough points in the Loch Lomond Porridge Cooking Challenge. Which means dear readers that I canna officially weer tha sporran...

Nah worries ! For we have reached the climax of our Skirttish visit.
The point where our newly renovated machines would attempt to carry us over the mountains.

We would ride the 'Rest and Be Thankful' pass up the long and harduous climb out of Glen Croe, over the summit and down the descent to Cairndow at the head of Loch Fyne. Along side the pass runs the old hillclimb course where such famous names as Jackie Stewart, Raymond Mays and Basil Davenport raced over 50 years ago. You can still almost smell the Castrol R !

 Hands up all those that thought we wouldn't make it !

 The Oyster Bar at Cairndow was having it's annual food fair. Oh yes, fresh local produce......venison, oysters, local beers and ciders, cheese's and such were being proudly displayed in a large marquee.

Belgium Chapter Koen bravely sampled the oysters.......(and he complained earlier he couldn't swallow porridge...aaaakkkk)
 Next stop on the tour - Inveraray

'The Vital Spark' was moored in the harbour. Named after the T.V series

Then back over 'The Rest'

 Traffic jam nearing journeys end.

Saa ther' ya' have it........Big Marine engines, a Micro Bobber, the ex Elvis Presley CB72, Primus and Porridge, oysters and Skirttish Ale............It can only happen here on Oilyracer...

For now Albert signing off - Awe the best tæ yis

Monday, 28 May 2012

Ooch Aye ! The mission. Part2

Hey! Mi OilyMac Mukkers! Dinna fash yersel!
Albert here - Hou's it gaun?
I'm gonna tell ya a wee bit mour aboot Ooch Aye! The mission.
The treasure from Coventry was safely on board and it was time to set sail to our next destination. Here we would perform challenges of such immense technicalities and human endurancification.

A boffy had been prepared as our base for the neet. As good a place as any to rest ya head after drinking an unknown quantity of Skirtish Ale....Which was a challenge because most of the ale served around the Loch Lomond area appears to be pumped direct from the Bonnie Loch itself....(In my humble opinion mi Lord)

Anyways, it was with a clear head I awoke none the worse for attempting to drink the Drovers Inn dry.
(and a lengthly walk back to base along an unlit road, in the dead of night, keeping a look out for the Werehaggis that are supposed to roam these mountains) phufff.......we made it.....
Good job for I was now going to attempt to earn my sporran. I would cook a traditional breakfast.
Aye, ya right laddie...PORRIDGE ! A meal for real men.....
I'd be using my faithful Primus model 53 too. A bit of fettling with a jet pricker and it was soon ready for action.

A cup full of Oats and 2 cups o' salt......

Click this link to see the Porridge Action in real 'Cracklevision' (over 18s only)
It didna take long to reach the correct consistancy. (Similar to wallpaper paste ?)
and we tucked in with much gusto..... mmmmmmmm!

MacAmazed !

MacSpeechless !

Suitably appertised, the next course of culinery delight was eggy bread cooked in chilli oil. 
Nah ya talking.

We survived. Stay tuned for more of 'Ooch Aye ! The mission.
Albert over an' oot !

Saturday, 26 May 2012

Ooch Aye ! The mission. Part1

Ooch Aye ! 
2 x Great Nations - 1 x Seemingly Impossible Goal - 1500 x Ardous Miles - Many x Strange Beers

Only now the 'Oilyracer' special operation commando team are back at base can I reveil that the top secret mission, code named 'Ooch Aye' has been a success.
 Gather round once more all you internet blog surfers for I shall enlighten you with the written word....the truth shall flow from my keyboard and forever cross polinate the universe (and beyond) as virtual cybertype.
 A tale of the sea and shipwrecks...........of mountains and bothys................of boiling oats....... of powerful motorcycles................and of 2 x MacOilyracers attempting to drink the Old Coaching Inns of the Kiltlands dry....

 07.30 hours. Saturday 19th May 2012....
 2 x brave men........2 x mechanically perfectly tuned motorcycles.......1 x extremely large assortment of tools, ropes, map, cooking utensils, stoves, paraffin, food were loaded onto/into the transporter.
Destination - Gareloch, Skirtland.
Mission - To retrieve a part of Englands mechanical heritage.

Many moons ago it came to the attention of Oilyracer (Belgium Chapter) that a rare Commer TS3 engine and gearbox had been offered for sale over the English border in the wilderness of Argyll. Negotiations (by Oilyracer UK Chapter) were entered into with the trader of huge horsepower (known locally by the name of James) and a ransom was agreed. A date was set for it's release. We would meet James in his homeland and exchange coinage of the realm.

 The Coventry made diesel was rumoured to have spent many years in the bowels of a 32ft launch that dredged Gareloch for mussels. James had inherited the launch from his uncle and had intended converting it into a fast persuit boat to chase giant deep sea mussels. However all did not go to plan. Unfortunately too long in dry dock rendered the ships timbers dry and useless........Only the massive engine remained. Palletised and stored in a coal merchants storage shed for 10 years....

James led us to a secret location to view the marinised Commer TS3.
(Complete with 1 x forward and 1 x reverse gear)

What a beastie ! It was gonna need a machine to lift it onto our transporter.

Nah problem...............James had a tractor......

 The TS3 was dragged out into the sunlight for the first time in a decade.....

 Lifted then lowered into position for its journey to pastures new.....

 Strapped securely with string and sticky tape the treasure was now in the hands of the Oilyracers

Let's go............for there is much to do before we can leave Argyll.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of - Ooch Aye ! The Mission
Albert signing off..........

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Jelly Roll

 Albert here....Just thought I'd let all you 'Oilyracers' know -

The ex Presley CB is still fitted with this delightfully worn and weathered saddle. 


Only trouble is it's not worn and weathered to fit my 'small, firm and perfectly formed bum' !
No Sir ! 
All I can say is Elvis must have had a BIG FAT ARSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luckily the part where Barbara Stanwyck sat seems to have faired a lot better)

So for now - It's a bit less Rock 'n' Roll and a bit more 'Jelly Roll'

Stay tuned.....

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Ready to Rock

Albert here. Bringing to you Oilyracer blog fans an important news update from Blighty.
The ex Elvis Presley 'CB' is now alive ! Many hours of painstaking restoration work by a specialist team of 'Old Sidevalvers' has finally resulted in this valuable machine being granted permission not only to once more ride the highways and byways of Old Blighty but also be part of a rescue mission. At this point the destination is TOP SECRET........But.....I can tell you it is over a border and into a land where many men apparantly do not wear undergarments.....(under their dresses.).!!!!! .......Pheeewwww weeeeee!
Holy Moly........Don't look down....up.....or sideways.........keep looking straight ahead !!!!
Back to the 'CB' anyway.....
Road legal after 34 years of waiting.....

Stay tuned over the next couple of weeks for news on final rescue preparations.
Albert signing off...........

Saturday, 5 May 2012