Monday 16 February 2009

Meanwhile down at the Poundametalosa Ranch








News update by Albert Crackleport.......

Work has been suspended for a few days down at 'The Old Sidevalve Bar' thus allowing your scribe to concentrate on the fermentation of 5 gallon of Rhubarb Cider and also the pickling of a small batch of seasonal Red Cabbage. If the brewing and preserving of these Yorkshire classics is successful Basil K. and myself will use these wonderful culinary delights as part of our amoury in the forthcoming Build Off in Balen. (That's if of course we don't hold another 'Pickle Evening' and allow the aforementioned to be consumed in huge quantities....)

However ! Not many miles away from the Blighty Base camp (in a Northerly direction) progress has continued within the outbuildings of the 'Poundametalosa Ranch'..........Metalforming Guru Lea Thermallet has been working his magic on Wheel and Hammer to shape the fuel tank for our 'Picklington Precision'. Unfortunately yours truly wasn't present to witness such an historic moment but I can post the pictures and allow all to see how four pieces of sheet metal became one. The Old English Wheel, Kraftformer and Lea's 'rack oft' eye' all being used to good effect.
A wonderful sight I'm sure you will agree...

Team Blighty will now concentrating on finding a tap and top that will compliment this work of art.......

Saturday 7 February 2009

Triumphant Against Adversity





Yes indeed dear 'Oilyracer' fans ! I've been on a journey...... a voyage into the unknown........all alone......!!! (Huh !)..........with only lifes experiences and a wish that more attention had been paid during Chemisty lessons at school, if only I'd listened to old Charlie Atkinson...(my science tutor).....I would not have had to forgo this lengthly and embarrasing initiation.
But...take heed reader, I...Albert Crackleport found inner strength and was TRIUMPHANT.

CrackleZenism - Arouse wisdom by hearing, reflecting, practicing, and realizing. (some old budda wrote this not me but very apt at this moment)

Ok I confess I did have a little help......I re-read the 'Nickel Platers Handbook' 3rd edition (printed 1949) and I drew on an inspirational moment from many years back that has stayed with me ever since....
First off then, I discovered in this extremly rare and valuable book that the plating solution has to be 50 degrees Centigrade (not Fahrenheit...silly old measurement anyway)
Secondly ? My inspiration...aahhh yes what does inspire your Old Uncle Albert. Well many years ago, possibly even more than 30 years ago I watched a film. A film full of British Bulldog fighting spirit, a film where man HAD to triumph against the elements or perish....A film where the characters only had what was available around them......you've guessed it -
Flight of the Pheonix. 1965 featuring James Stewart, Richard Attenborough and Peter Finch. Blew me away it did. It was at that moment that I realised that if you want something you've gotta make it happen yourself.

So thats why I couldn't give in, and why after once again risking life and limb I hold before you 2 small pieces of Albion gearbox that have been successfully nickelised.
(the life threaening risk was that this latest plating operation was performed indoors...on the gas stove....with more kitchen cookware...)
To raise the temperature of the nickel solution to the required 50 degrees C I had to place the plating vat in very hot water, (plating vat - best pyrex measuring jug) turning the heat on and off as required.
I also reduced the power by fitting a smaller Wattage bulb.
Don't believe I will be doing concours winning plating just yet, sometimes the pieces still come out of the solution with flaking but I'm trying rotating as I plate and that has helped a little.

I will now have to build a heating tank of larger dimensions to proceed with the remaining Albion parts.
Onwards and Upwards - Driven by PickleZenism towards our goal....

Thursday 5 February 2009

Plating Beginner



Hello again 'Oilyracer' fans. Ya old Uncle Albert here.....
I can officially report that a platers life is not a happy one....Hum ! I know I'm only a beginner (despite my senior years) but I expected better.... I followed the general instructions (I think) but I have yet to discover the inner workings of platism (platism - a Crackleism meaning 'to plate') There are dark secrets that have yet to be exposed ! Metalising Magic that is known to a few ! Can I Albert Crackleport penetrate the inner circle and learn what only the chosen ones know ?

Only time will tell...
Here's the story so far.....
5 Litres of solution were poured into a clean bucket, my newly purchased wine heater was submerged and switched on....whilst my lovely Nickel solution was heating up I retrieved my victim (whoops sorry.....first piece for nickelising) from the strong acid bath and rinsed thoroughly, before connecting earth wire. My nickel anode was already wired through a 12volt bulb to control the current. Dangling both in the solution I connected the leads to a 12volt battery (trickle charging from a charger)
Thought there would have been uncontrollable bubbling ?, possible clouds of poisonous gases ?, huge explosion ?, sparking from the battery terminals ?, nah ! as they say in Yorkshire - Ther' wa Nawt !

Maybe this plating game is for softies ! no injury risk.. no burns or risk of eye loss....
or just possibly this first attempt isn't going as it should.........

CORRECT ! After 15 minutes I pull the victim (sorry again.....volunteer) to discover a flaky mess.

What's happened ! Albert...you need to find out....you've spent your life savings on huge quantities of chemicals that will have no other use.....All that time and effort on research......Half wrecked the family cookware..........DOH !

Fear not 'Oilyracer' fans......Albert has a plan

Monday 2 February 2009

Suicidal Tendencies




As the Britain guys are trying to kill themselves with chemicals,we're trying to find our endings in a mechanical way....how? ...just by shortening our front suspension.By cutting a big part of the inner springs?...yes euh NO!!!
Here we go...

The way the suspension is set up is that the fork tube is free to move up and down with respect to the slider.Attached (Bolted) to the bottom of the slider is the piston, which sits inside the fork tube inside the slider. The piston is just another tube, with a bolt hole at one end, and a "stop" at the other end. This bottom of the piston (with the help of the "top out spring") stops the fork tube from moving all the way up, and is the top bound of the suspension travel (fully extended). The top of the piston is where the fork spring sits, and the fork spacer sits on top of that. There is a small spring, called the "top out spring" (about 1" long) in between the bottom of the stop and the bottom of the fork tube, so that when the suspension is fully extended, the assembly will hit the spring, not the piston. There is tension in this at all times, and the spring usually only comes into play when the suspension is fully extended. If the top out spring were longer, this would cause the fork tube to sit lower in the slider, but would also lessen the space between the top of the fork tube and the top of the stop, effectively compressing the fork spring more than normal. The trick is to insert spacers between the top out spring and where it sits on the piston. This lowers the fork tube in the slider by the exact amount of the spacers. Now, to keep the "stock" spring compression, the fork spring spacer must be cut off by the same amount as the length of the spacers.

My idea? ....of course not ...picked it up somewhere on the Internet ....hopefully that guy knew what he was telling otherwise we're in trouble hahahha
Oh yeah euh we don't have that "fork tube spacer" in our fork so we're doomed to cut a piece of the spring.....holy Mary, mother of god......

Sunday 1 February 2009

Chemical Chaos with Gear Gnashin Neil







Albert here......reporting in on the latest life threatening activities down in 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'.....and crikey !.....this time I really did come close to being in serious trouble.. Read on 'Oilyracer fans' and find out how old Crackleport nearly met his end.....

You would have thought that employing Gear Gnashin Neil MSc, BSc, & Pembletoneer to help mix the Nickel Plating Solution would have safeguarded against any mishaps.......mmmm! think again !

We decided to make a 5 litre batch of solution and due to the volume it needed to be produced in 2 seperate mixes. Taking the largest kitchen pan available we followed the recipe to the letter. Heating the water and carefully adding the Nickel salts, Gnasher stirred the solution until all crystals were disolved, before adding the Borric Acid. First mix good !!.....pour into storage vessel and return pan for second mix..

Was it confidence or youthful exuberance that lead to the water being hotter ......the stirring being more intense.......the Borric Acid fizzing and bubbling before dissolving........we will never know !!!!!! What we do know is the bottom of the pan is now badly disfigured.......the surface is flaking off and useless now for making Biryani....Oh calamity.....

At this point Gear Gnasher made a swift exit stage right and left Albert to confess to this minor misfortune.

Yes dear...we were using your best stew pot..........yes dear we were mixing highly dangerous chemicals in the kitchen.........yes dear........yes dear.....

Looking on the bright side we how have 5 litres of wonderful Nickel solution. (thinly disguised as a 12% Montepulciano D' Abruzzo)

More shortly.....