Art or Function...You decide !

It is I - Albert, your scrib for the evening.......here to entertain you with tales of derring-do.

Pull up a chair...... for I shall show you a sight that will chill you to the bone.......Yiks !

Not since my namesake Dangerous Albert and Spotty Bum McGrew fought for the affections of Cow Heel Lou has anything been seen like this up here on't windy moors o' Yorkshire.....Eeeee Ayeee wi live life on't edge alri'te....

Grinding ! I'm 't World Champ, or I should be wit' amount I've done (and I'm only half way there)

Ladies and Gentlemen......For one night only.......appearing without safety net or wire I have for your felicitation the most scandalous evidence ever put forward to prove Damien Hirst is na' but a lad when it comes to creating art ! !

For I say unto you.....I am 'THE' artist ! I breath life into metallic ores that once formed part of this earths core............I create function from the dead and forgotten...........

Yes dear friends forget Pickled Sharks..........I pickle onions.......Drink a goodly splashin of homebrew from a metal juglington and grind engines till they shout fa mercy.......................

Oh yes !

Above - Before with cut line

Nah in't that reet gorgous ?

Question - You decide - Do I cut out where the Sparkington Pluglets go or do I leave finned reet ta't top..........

Thats all for now....

This week I've been 'mostly'

Blighty calling, Blighty calling, are you receiving? Over........
Albert transmitting from secret location 'T.O.S.V.B.' on short wave frequency........
Calling all readers........News flash.....



Firstly - Congratulations are in order for fellow Oilyracers at Balen D.C. Arcade on a successful first road test of a Pembleton Super Sport. The King and Queen of Belgium should be made aware of this momentous occasion.....It's not everyday that such a mechanical acheivement can be witnessed by so many....Hurrah ...Hurrrah...Hip Hip Hurrah !



Back at base camp in Alberts garden many a kilowatt of power has flowed down the grinder cable, turning volts to revolutions, rubbing revolving disc over Japanese aluminium, changing forever a mistaken Yamaha vision of motorcycle harmony into many millions of iron fillings......


I'm looking inside, looking for the hidden jewel , it's in there I know, it's just a case of digging until I find it !


Nothing comes easy, so today I have been 'mostly' grinding, dremelling, rubbing, and buffing.


Behold I present for your merriment the fruits of my labours - 1 x cam cover


Sunglasses on.....Bling alert

Happy fact - Original weight - 500gms

- Weight today - 150gms

When I get the other cover done thats a weight saving of 700gms.

(Which of course equals a mighty good helping of the finest Yorkshire Fish n Chips.)

Cider time, catch ya all later. Albert

C'était un rendez-vous in Balen DC : Scary movie I

Big news from Balen DC !!!!
Mounted new shock absorbers this morning...which itself isn't that big news but .....
those two pieces made the Pembleton becoming a proper ride-able trike ...or at least it should make it a proper ride-able trike.
I'm currently converting a small trailer to take the Pem to a nearby shopping mall parking on a Sunday to test but........
I just couldn't stand the temptation of a first test drive on a nearby road.
It was quite scary filming its maiden run while checking no parts fell of ....and keeping one eye on the road.

If there are any brave souls out there who are willing to participate the next couple of tests to capture the whole damn thing on 8 mm just let me know.

The Long and Winding Grind

I'm sure all you guys out there will agree - There's no better way to end the weekend than with a long purposeful grind..............satisfying.......I'll say so !

So here for you all to see is the little beauty I've had the pleasure of grinding for most of the weekend......................and boy have I done some damage ! Oh yes !

Still in need of a final fettle but I'm sure you can see just how things are coming together......

The 2 of us have long way to go yet, but with a bit of gentle handwork over the contours this will definitely be making grown men cry.

B.C. Before Crackleport

A.C. After Crackleport

Pour me a cider................I deserve it !

Just another Blog Entry - 13th Nov 2010

As the rain continued to lash down your Uncle Albert was feeling time ebb away..............

Little voices inside him saying.....Make an effort old chap ! Get off your backside and do something useful................

So he did........I made my way down the garden to a location not marked on any tourist map.....the almost most famous shed in the world 'The Old Sidevalve Bar'.

Knee deep still in iron fillings from last weeks grinding session the welcoming smell of old oil and cutting fluid drew me in.......a comfortable world of half built projects (and huge spiders webs dangling from every joist)

As soon as I saw the 'VBobber' motor I knew there was work to be done.......What a sorry sight !

An ugly duckling alongside the other Vintage beauties. Albert will save you......

If you remember last week over a 'Growler' a plan had been hatched.....To save this Virago from a lifetime of misery and bring it happiness and thus bring joy to all who see it....(?) Is that what Basil K. and yours truly agreed ?...Surely not ?

Rather than sweep up the iron fillings I was suddenly consumed with great creativity....the juices were beginning to flow.......fuelled by a bacon sarnie 'n' a great mug 'o' steaming tea there was no turning back.....

The 535 motor is so blinking square ! so blooming over finned ! so spiffingly short 'n' stubby !

Team Blighty want Vintageness, J.A.P.ness, Brooklandsness, oilpipeness, lightness...

Albert you need to -

1) Create an illusion of tallness by having narrowness.
2) Create an image of Alcohol fuelled British Anzani's by having minimal cylinder finning.

3) Fit a new grinding wheel and get crackin'

Pencil marks highlight planned trim area. Let's not be frightened now, leave me to do the worrying about reduced cooling. (No worries...it's not like the bike is going to be ridden overland to Marakesh is it ? Is it ?.)

Sorry guys...it's cider time......The ugly ducklin will have to wait.....

Cold weather blues

Blog entry 13th Nov 2010 -Rainin' like hell in Blighty..............

Albert can't get out to play.............

What's to do ? - First for all those who enquired about the severity of my Diff Grinding - Don't panic ! I'm hoping it will still fix to the bike in complete safety and delightful engineeringfulness.....

We will be running a hardtail on the 'VBobber' so one fixing will be the wheel spindle and the other the redundant shock mount.

For all those who didn't enquire........................I guess you already knew that (or probably don't care how it will fix?)

In the meantime for your enjoymentalfortification I have pasted the most jawdroppinglyeyeballopeningcastrolRsmelling picture of a racing J.A.P. I've ever seen. Yes, indeed forget the Sirens in Greek Mythology this model of mechanical perfectness will draw you in................never to release you from a Shedlife stuck in Vintageness...........

You have been warned ! For those of a nervous disposition I suggest you look away NOW !

Smaller

Blighty reporting.

Whilst the marching band tunes up in the Balen Arcade (ready to celebrate International Virago Day ?) Team Blighty have been busy.

Saturday morning - meeting of't committeeeeeeee to discuss direction of build.

Agreement 1 - Codenamed 'VBobber' will be built within current UK legislation.......just. (It won't come as a suprise to anyone that the goverment have pretty much sown up the building of mechanical transportation devices by individuals with bushy beards and a liking for moonshine...Their way or No way ! seems to be the message, ......) Team Blighty will comply, but in doing so will unfortunately undermine the European directive to restrict Jacobs Cracker consumption to 3 a day......... More shed time means more Jacobs.......I'm up to 5 daily all with a thick layer of Marmite........ A small price to pay to remain a free man......!

Agreement 2 - Spoked wheels / 'Old Skool' narrow tyres.

Agreement 3 - Vintafake where possible.....making maximum use of old brass, copper, leather and string.

Major decisions, easily made thanks to the mind focusing properties of a Guiseley Growler . These meat feasts are snared locally, and need careful preperation before eating. (slowly brought to mouth burning temperate and then smothered in H.P. Sauce.) Despite their lack of movement when caught, danger still lurks for the unwary.....Lashings of lard, salt, seasoning, geletine and uncured pork can stop a mans heart in seconds..........Us Yorkshire lads brought up on Mill Stone Grit Nibbling and Ferret Legging can easy eat 2 Growlers before dinner though.... 'ard as nails wi ar'

Anyhows..........I've just returned from't shed, knee deep in iron fillings it wa'.

That's cos I've done now't but run mi grinder ower't Virago differential all weekend.........

I like light.......I like flangeless........But best of all I like grinding...........

So, not quite finished yet but here we have 2 lovely Virago Differentials.............

B.C. - Before Crackleport

A.C. - After Crackleport

Next stop - Basil K's polishing shop for a smooth and polish.....

Just for the fun of it